Friday, January 28, 2011
"Dating the Dads"
The advantage to dating a good father is that he most likely is a caretaker, which works to your benefit because he might be more sensitive to your needs. However, on the flip side, a man with a family will have to divide himself between you, the kids and his job.
Usually this dynamic works better when the woman has children too because a woman with kids will be more empathetic to a divorced family man. Yet, you would be surprised to hear that most "dating dads" prefer to date women without kids. Most of these guys love their children but enjoy the ability to go out and focus on their careers. Seeing their family at whatever schedule is worked out, gives them the freedom to enjoy their independence. In some cases they won't want to take on a woman with children because it limits their ability to feel free and they will have to take on the father role with the woman's kids.
If you are single girl without children getting into a relationship with a "Dad," it is best to be sure that this man is secure emotionally and financially. Having a balanced and healthy relationship in a world where "you" will always be compromising on some level is the only way to have a happy life together.
Go in with your "eyes open" and never make excuses for anything that doesn't make you feel 100 percent comfortable. Remember that you are "baggage-free" (as far as having no kids :D) and need to see if you can fully fit into his world. My advice is to spend time with the children, if you are at that point. It is the only way you will ever know if you are capable of handling a man and his kids.
Ultimately deciding that you can't date with a man with children doesn't make you a failure. It's about recognizing who you are, your desires and your limitations. The more you get to know yourself brings you closer to the person you are supposed to be with and you should be congratulated on knowing what you want! XO!