Wednesday, October 20, 2010
'Tangled' Up in the Fairy Tale.
In certain situations, especially on a first date, you don't know the other person and it's very hard to gauge where the other person is coming from. Getting swept away and fantasizing is not a great approach to a first date because it's not "real" yet and it is not a developed relationship. There is a big difference between being optimistic and hopeful and dreaming of an unrealistic future. I'm not insinuating that you should be cynical because that is negative thinking. Taking it for what it is, especially in the beginning is the only way to keep your feet on the ground.
I actually got the opportunity to once ask a man I was dating for a while what exactly he was experiencing on our dates. "Orli, I am having a great time with you but we are having different experiences," he said. My reaction? Shocked, hurt, confused and disappointed. I had to recover from such a short lived romance and the healing time was simply not worth the effort that I put into this man.
Lesson learned. Taking it slow till you know is the healthiest approach to an exciting first date or first couple of dates. Being disappointed is natural and healthy because your desire to connect with another human being is a wonderful and beautiful thing! You should never ever feel badly about that! Don't go for the ride, be the driver because you are in control of maybe not how you experience things but how you handle them! (For the record, this man will be very sorry sooner or later! :D)